turn your eyes upon jesus
look full in his wonderful face
and the things on earth
will go strangely dim
in the light of his glory and grace

i don't know what to think
i don't know what to feel.
man really does fail you
and god doesn't.

it's like the niggle growing,
and i tell myself not to bother about it.
and it just has to appear or something.
i guess i can't read into it.
it's in your hands?
this thorn that is in my side.
i can't compare to others i guess, it
never really was the same.
maybe two.

i've passed everything so far.
yes lord im thanking you still
and even thanking you for smth greater tt is goin to happen.

it really sucks you
and leaves you dry,
doesn't it?
squeezes the life, patience and breath out.

it's really no point getting frustrated with myself.
but to go and bathe now and be nice and clean
and start studying

at least i'm going for 300 with dad and gor ltr((:
smth im so looking forward to.
its the highlight of my day.

oh lord save me from my emotional pit.

6:50 PM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

"They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength;
> they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run,
> and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint"
> (Isaiah 40:31).
>
> How does one wait on God? I suggest three things:
>
> 1. Quit thinking about your situation and begin focusing
> your mind on the Lord. "As the eyes of servants look unto
> the hand of their masters, and as the eyes of a maiden unto
> the hand of her mistress; so our eyes wait upon the Lord
> our God." The foundation of waiting on God is making him
> the object of our thoughts.
>
> 2. Be patient, waiting for God to answer prayer in his time
> and way. Patient waiting is to hope and trust in the face
> of all discouragement and disappointment. "You have need of
> patience." In your thinking, God may seem too slow, but he
> heard your very first cry - and every prayer since. Often,
> the answer comes in a way you could not possibly perceive.
>
> 3. Pray often - daily - with expectation. Where there is no
> expectation of an answer, there cannot be waiting on God.
> That is the heart and soul of this waiting. Why would
> anybody pray without expecting an answer? "They that come
> to him must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder
> of them that diligently seek him." What is his reward?
> Renewal of your strength.

Labels: so i look to you

6:31 PM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

facedown -matt redman

Labels: fall facedown

2:45 AM

enough



david crowder band

oh so good.
yes Lord you are more than enough for me.

come thou fount



david crowder band


never let me forget what it costs on mount calvary.

Labels: sweet jesus.

2:20 AM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

restore us God
Restore us, your people,O God
who have lost their sense of wonder!
Restore our old withered hearts to their innocence.
Restore our lives to their unsoiled perfection and intention.
Restore us to yourself, O God Almighty!
we all need God's presence to shine upon us
and renew us

O God, the maker of new things,
sometimes I feel so old and worn;
my soul is weary from the fight.
I need your presence and
strength to restore me.
Please restore me to your side
and make your grace alive in me.
Please restore me to your love
and share it with others through me.
Please restore me to your righteousness so
others can see your character in me.
Please restore me, and not
just me,
please restore all those who call on your mighty name
so that the world may see you in us
and come to know your saving grace.
In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.


i don't know why it still ails me
why it still causes me to feel this way.
i can't help thinking
i can't help fighting.
this battle that rages on inside me.
so surreal, unreal.
sometimes i wonder really,
if it is your will oh Lord,
that you placed it there.
if not, please take it away,
and fill it up with your love.




take my heart,
won't you make it new
Jesus how i love you
how i love you
Jesus i'm in love with you
speak to me
whisper your words of truth

how i love you
yea i love you
how i love you

Labels: how i love you

12:22 AM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

oh my! this is the best! some parts are a little obscene but they're really really good.




hey! this is chinese guy 'xiao zhu'.
ya abe and steff!! do take a look at some of his moves..ill do the choreo tmr at hm n prob on thurs with steff..can take some of hs moves(;





gasp. the last part is so so cool!!!
the useful parts are when they are dancing as a whole w the girls.
but not v useful. look at this last.




and the famous step up!



ohh.this is good. he teaches you how to pop.



okay its chinese again. the song is quite dumb but moves not bad.

11:50 PM

As i lie here,
and i look at the night sky
it just reminds me of your majesty.
As i lie here,
with all these thoughts in my head,
i just wonder,
You still love me


even if the sky doesn't light
up with a million stars at night
even if the waves come
and drown me in their skin
even if the world falls
even if my heart dies
i will still love you
yeah i will love you still

As the world goes by,
and the noise gets bright,
i know you are here.
As the sun goes down,
and another day is gone,
you're still holding my hand


Your presence soaked me to the skin,
sitting there with all of You around me
i wish i could do that for ages.
hear the waves go in and go out
just a pity that the sky was so cloudy
and there were no stars! ):
still, taking a moment to just sit there
and hear you talk again.

it is difficult trying to hear God,
specially in our world today which is so crowded out
by the noise of the world,
and all the chantings of "me! me! me!"
what's on your heart O God?

i hear you bidding me to trust in you,
to give all i am into your hands,
to study hard and give my best
and somehow you will provide a way for me
to stand up under whatever that comes my way.

when the waves suddenly made violent noises,
it made me want to move further back
and 'still' was so real.

when the oceans rise and tunders roar
i will soar with you above the storm
Father you are King over the flood
i will be still and know you are God

made me think how scary it was to hear the seas roar,
and the waves just coming at you
and again,
i knew something was going to happen, or i dont know
if it has happened but i don't think so.
and im not exactly waiting in eager anticipation.
but waiting and trusting,
patient dependence
yeah that's what im going to do.


and i don't know why you put that in my path.
i don't know what to think of it.
i don't know what to do but to let you have my heart
my total being; my emotions and all that's in my head.
you know me best God.
help me not to think rubbish.


O lord, you've searched me
you know my name
even when i failed you
i know you love me

and when the earth fades
falls from my eyes
you stand before me
i know you love me

at the cross i bow my knee
where your blood was shed for me
there's no greater love than this
you have overcome the grave
your glory fills the highest place
what can separate me now?

you tore the veil
you made a way
when you said that it is done




praying for my friends at the beach
reminds me of how vast and great our god is.
he is everywhere
and knows and sees everything
how often we forget that of god,
he is god!


if my heart has grown cold,
there your love will unfold
as you open my eyes to the work of your hands
when im bilnd to my way
there your spirit will pray
as you open my eyes to the work of your hands
as you open my eyes to the work of your hands

oceans will part
nations come
at the whisper of your call
hope will rise
glory shown
in my life your will be done

present suffering may pass
lord your mercy will last
as you open my eyes to the work of your hands
and my heart will find praise
ill delight in your way
as you open my eyes to the work of your hands
as you open my eyes to the work of your hands

your will be done

Labels: i commit again, into your hands

12:48 PM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

oh my! just saw esther's production!
wonderful great job dear!!
felt like crying..love u loads abe!! jesus too!

4:49 PM

woah.

overnight worship and intercession last night was so so good!
GOD YOU ARE WONDERFUL AND MAGNIFICENT AND WORDS JUST CANNOT DESCRIBE EVERYTHING YOU ARE!

totally. you could sense his presence there. HE IS SO REAL.
just standing there singing songs, praying, ad singing songs again. den having breaks and going back to hearing everyone share on what christ has done again and again.
and just going back to singing songs to him.
standing in awe of him,
kneeling before the King of Kings and
letting the tears fall and
knowinh how much you're loved.
that the Father just loves you so much.

and i came to serious realization last night:
yes, i don't know God the Father.
in a way that is so intimate before,
and it brought me to just cry out
lord help me to know who you really really are.
you have been my best friend, you have been GOD,
i see your works everywhere i go.
even in the mirror.
when im on the bus,
when i study bio and see the complexity of how our body works.
its simply so so anazing lord.



you take my breath away.




and i really cannot comprehend the depth and height and width of your love.
this wondrous love that totally captures me.
and lord,
i pray that my heart would always have you on the throne.
to be always always captivated by you and you alone.
it's really divine.


help me to be a light in the darkness.
that as this world grows darker, so much darker,
i will burn brighter still
to shine for all to see
and they would see your glory
your wonderful majestic glory
and give you praise.

oh so so divine.
this divine love that touches and
winds down to the depths.
captures every thought.
intricate lies,
oh dispel them!
let them have any hold
no longer!
bright morning star!
shine forth,
shine brighter!
the bowl shall not contain this flame in me.



the world is indeed gettting so much darker. just another cyclone hit aust.

annd oh! michelle has the accent!! she appeared on a video last night and oh.
i miss her so so much!
we were all laughin when she spoke with the accent.
still what she said was so meaningful.
that God does put us, specifically
where we are.
for a reason.
divine opportunities.
oh god.
help me not to miss them
not to let anyone of them slip out of my hand.
to have courage and boldness to share and stand up for you
when the time comes.

it is scarily true how most of us want to fit in.
to seemingly blend into the crowd and not want to stand out,
to be the sole person that says and does what is right.
to be the person that everyone looks on in disapproval.
but Lord,
let me fear you and never men.
it does take so much to stand for jesus in this world we're living in,
but Lord,
you first loved me and gave yourself for me.
you first became a fool for me.


There are times when faith
and common sense do not align,
when hardcore evidence of you
is hard to find,
and I am silenced in the face of argumenative debate,
it's a long hill
it's a lonely climb.
Maybe it's true.

Cause they want proof,
They want proof of all these mysteries I claim,
Cause only fools would want to chant
a dead man's name.
I would be a fool for you
all because you asked me to.
A simpleton who's seeming naive,
I do believe You came and
made Yourself a fool
for me.

I admit that in my darkest hours
I've asked what if,
What if we created some kind of man-made faith
like this,
Out of good intention or
emotional invention,
and after life is through
there will be no You.

Cause they want proof
of all these miracles I claim,
Cause only fools believe that
men can walk on waves.
Maybe it's true.

Unaware of popularity,
and unconcerned with dignity,
You made me free.
That's proof enough for me.
I would be a fool for You,
Only if You asked me to,
A simpleton who's only think of,
The cause of love.
I will speak Jesus name,
and if that makes me crazy,
they can call me crazed,
I'm happy to be seemingly naive,
I do believe You came and
made Yourself a fool
for me

-nichole nordeman




who are you to me?
who am i to you God?

Labels: fool for you.

3:22 PM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

sighs.

what a long trying week.

i've known of 4 deaths these past 2 weeks.

and i came to a realisation last night,
on my last paper
last night on my bed.
i prayed and i talked to god.
and i just somehow cried out to him.
i've been praying, for strength, for my friends,
and everything seemed superficial?
until last night.
when i wondered, "did i really mean everything?"

i knew i loved my friends alot,
and i did pray from the bottom of my heart,
and i knew god heard.

he never sleeps, he never slumbers,
he never tires of hearing our prayer.

somehow something is just missing,
and i had relied on my own strength these few days of cts.
and it sucked totally.
wishing a zillion times that i could dig my eyes out to soak them in chilled juice.
(shidahh can testify to that)
and just not being able to write or feeling so restless in the exam hall,
knowing i dint give my best and
my results would once again be horrifying.

im tired of getting Ss and Es and hearing everyone still say "you study so much!"
seemingly so hardworking as i go to the library to mug
or stay in church to study after service.
and yet, the results im getting are .
but amidst all these,
i'm learning.
to put others above self,
that there are so much other important things in life.
and i really don't know what to do with her.

lord,
i want to pray for her,
i want to reach out to her.
i want to cry my heart out praying for her salvation.
i want to fast and go on my knees
and i want her to see your love for her.
how do i go about doing that?
when she doesn want to share?
when she turns away?
or maybe im just being so blind to her emotions and her needs.
oh.
ive never felt so helpless about someone before.
lord help help help me.

argh.
reading her post really hurts.



this world is more than just me.
more than just the church. more than just studying.
its about god loving everyone, trying to love everyone.
and lord.

what a wretched soul i am.
and u find me worthy to be used by you.
what a wonder you are.
what a privilege.

with all my struggles inside,
i really want to make life so much more meaningful living it for you
caring for others,
loving them.
after all, isn't it what you came down for?

praks said i looked fierce doing the bio paper?
haha. maybe i was.
frustrated and irritated about not feeling like writing or doing.
and somehow, im feeling so numb.
numb to alot of things.

but last night was really good.
talking to god,
giving my heart back to him again.
and knowing i am going to give my best in studying.
to do my part and study to try to get into med sch.
no matter how hard it is,
lord i want to rely on you.

im so looking forward to tmr night.
overnight worship and intercession.
just spending the night in worship and praying for the world that is
so in need.
i want to bend my knees and pray.
with these passing aways,
i think god is trying to tell me something.
to not waste time any longer?
to treat life with much more seriousness and urgency
and to live it for him.

and im having a bad habit of wanting more, more more.
in such a shopping mood nowadays and im without money.
but ackx to it.
life's more than it seems.





your mercy found me
upon the broken road
and lifted me beyond my failing
into your glory
my sin and shame dissolved
and now forever yours ill stand
in love never to end
to call you more than Lord
Glorious friend

so ill throw my life upon all that you are
cause i know you gave it all for me
when all else fades
my soul will dance with you
where the love lasts forever

let me sing of your love always.
let me sing of your greatness and your majesty and your power.
oh i really want to die to self,
die to sin.
die to this old yucky nature.

now set the captives free
leave us abandoned to your praise.

pride.and.prejudice.

hearing everyone talk about how year two is depressing on their blogs
makes me realise how fortunate i am.
to have you jesus by my side.
and i really want to share this wonderful wonderful relationship and love
you can have too.

all the moments when you felt like you are rotting away and
that no one in the world can uds how you feel,
when everything just seems to be going so haywire and downhill,
when you fail the expectations of everyone, even your own,
open up your heart to him.
jesus hears,
jesus cares,
jesus came down 200 years++ ago and he died for you.
trust me, if there's anything that is worth living this life for,
or even dying for it,
it is jesus.
his love never never fails you.
he died on the cross
arms wide open to welcome people to his world.
one that although is not free of troubles,
is still worth living.
you might not know him yet,
but why, why not give him a try?
there's no harm trying him.
just open up your heart and
ask him to come into your life.
to be real and not just some thing made up
because we christians want to feel good or live in dillusion.
im challenging you because i dont want to spoon feed or shove things down your throat.
i want you to experience it.
and i pray with all my heart
that jesus would show himself to you.





You've been running as fast as you can
You've been looking for a place you can land for so long
What if you pick apart the logic
And begin to poke the holes
What if the crown of thorns is no more
Than folklore that must be told and retold?

What if you're right?
And he was just another nice guy
What if you're right?
What if it's true?
They say the cross will only make a fool of you
And what if it's true?
What if he takes his place in history
With all the prophets and the kings
Who taught us love and came in peace
But then the story ends
What then?

But what if you're wrong?
What if there's more?
What if there's hope you never dreamed of hoping for?
What if you jump?
And just close your eyes?
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He's more than enough?
What if it's love?


life is more than it seems.


i want to be a disciple of yours.
i want to display love.






___________________________________________________________

day of studying at macs with dah:
it was funny and eventful.
im sure we attracted attention by walking to the toilet a zillion times with an empty bottle.
and coming out of it filled.
with a look on our face that says ' don't look at our bottles'
we were quite productive at first, (first few hours)
and the plasma in mac's kept ringing "happily Never after!"
and we got used to it aftr awhile.
then came talking so much rubbish like me saying 'im a frog. kiss me and ill turn into a princess.'
dahh looking at the ceiling and commenting that it looks like cheese.
us counting how many people have came and left the table beside us.
us being so amused at the baby boy. he's so so cute.
and there were afew other kids as well.
all in all, we did almost everything we wanted to accomplish there tt aftn.
and we have undergone the time.
it is past.

that ends it.

________________________________________________________


my heart burns for you.
oh come and burn me with a kiss.

Labels: down on my knees, lord i ask you please.

8:59 PM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

shout it out (:

-

all the brothers and sisters

-

of old.

-

credits.

-

wonderful people

-